23 Tweets That Accurately Capture The Hell That Is Modern Dating

23 Tweets That Accurately Capture The Hell That Is Modern Dating

“Day 329 without sex: I went to Starbucks just so I could hear somebody scream my name.”
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Face it: If you don’t laugh about your dating life (or lack thereof), you’re probably going to cry. It gets that bad sometimes.

Below, we’ve compiled 23 relatable tweets that truly, madly, deeply capture the experience of dating these days.

  • 1

    Why doesn’t anybody love me the way people on Catfish love strangers who won’t video chat

    — Michaela (@MichaelaOkla) July 11, 2018

  • 2

    I just swiped right on so many girls without getting a match that I looked around to see if I was on a subway without service.

    — Jared Freid (@jtrain56) July 16, 2018

  • 3

    i don’t get how u cheat on a significant other. like how do you get 2 different ppl to like u. how

    — touc schrute (@aspiringtoucan) July 2, 2018

  • 4

    Dating apps should make men state if they own the dog in their photos or if it is someone elses, if not things can get ugly quite quickly.

    — JDA (@the__littleman) August 19, 2017

  • 5

    There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? TRASH. There is a lot of trash in the sea.

    — Crystal 🤘🏽 (@25Average_) July 12, 2018

  • 6

    Day 329 without sex: I went to Starbucks just so I could hear somebody scream my name

    — ryki (@ryankii) July 14, 2018

  • 7

    EVERY girl got a dude in her DM talking to himself…

    — Nando (@RealNandoAve) June 1, 2018

  • 8

    The best part of a relationship is the very beginning when you haven't met yet and your still single

    — A.Jay (@A_JAYOFFICIAL) September 19, 2017

  • 9

    being single is all fun and games until you realise it’s a never ending cycle of getting to know someone, they eventually stop texting you, then they watch your Instagram story every day until you die

    — senorita ugly (@bex_bambi) June 12, 2018

  • 10

    Me: why am I single

    Me: declines every date, takes 3-5 business days to answer text, shows no emotion, can't parallel park

    — Alyssa DiVincenzo (@alyssadivinc) March 8, 2017

  • 11

    A guy on Tinder said “would love to meet for a drink and hear your views”

    On what? Keynesian macroeconomics? How Cameron Diaz is slept on as a comic actor?

    — shon faye. (@shonfaye) May 9, 2018

  • 12

    If you’re on a first date and make the other person laugh, I think a good thing to ask right after that is “Do you like me?”

    — Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) May 28, 2018

  • 13

    "hey I saw you on tinder but we didn't match so I found your instagram you're so beautiful you don't need to wear all that makeup ahah I bet you get a lot of creepy dm's but I'm not like all those other guys message me back beautiful btw whats your snap" pic.twitter.com/XDLj2FyqZP

    — gracie hoos (@cottoncandaddy) April 6, 2018

  • 14

    Dating after 30 is like "Are we doing this or not?" I got shit to do.

    — 🌊 (@mattwhitlockPM) December 30, 2017

  • 15

    Idk y men go to bars to meet women

    Go to Target.

    The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 & they’re already looking for things they don’t need.

    — Joey (@xj_swaggax) May 29, 2017

  • 16

    *gets ghosted*

    Me: thank you for the 15-day free trial

    — Lil Slimè (@THEMYSTICS13) July 11, 2018

  • 17

    One time a guy on Tinder said "I'll let you be the funny one" and I'm just so relieved to finally have permission

    — Eileen Mary 😎’Connell (@i_Lean) December 24, 2017

  • 18

    guys are over here like "yeah uh in my opinion the perfect female body is like a victoria's secret model but with 3x bigger boobs" and girls are over here like "mmm dad bods are literally just fine just please respect us" and guys are over here like "no"

    — jake (@squidslippers) July 14, 2018

  • 19

    “Coaches don’t play”👌🏼💯🤷🏻‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/w8ehF1fdTe

    — 👑 (@unko_kama) July 9, 2018

  • 20

    day 489 without sex: the demon i see in the corner of my room when i have sleep paralysis lookin kinda cute now ngl

    — ѕαм ◡̈ (@sxmmie) July 7, 2018

  • 21

    The way I see it, the guy should ALWAYS pay for the first date, just to even things out. Have you been inside a Sephora? An eye shadow palette is about 45 bucks — that's five times the price of mozzarella sticks.

    — The Captain (@sgrstk) March 31, 2018

  • 22

    I went to redownload Bumble and I accidentally searched Burger King.

    Guys, this app is way better and easier.

    — Jared Freid (@jtrain56) July 12, 2018

  • 23

    My next relationship I’m not putting cute contact names in my phone. I’m gunna put “We’ll see” 😂

    — Eddie Llamas (@llamas_edward) February 3, 2018

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Brittany Wong
Lifestyle Reporter, HuffPost
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