The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week, July 7 to 13
The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.
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My future husband is probably fake laughing at his girlfriend’s lame ass jokes rn. Be patient King, a true clown is on the way.
— Brownie (@jalenciaga_) July 10, 2018
this list is like a fantasy draft of women i want to be murdered by pic.twitter.com/kWrJKQDscW
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) July 12, 2018
When you are an adult and you go out to eat with your parents and you waiting on one of them to say “one check”. pic.twitter.com/7MedXupq8e
— Orange Moon 🌕 (@nubianlocz) July 9, 2018
I’m always surprised how long disco and early ‘80s dance songs are, until I remember cocaine
— Mara “Get Rid of the Nazis” Wilson (@MaraWilson) July 8, 2018
Aint no salad like an airport salad cuz an airport salad don’t food
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 9, 2018
There is blatant cheating going on this year at the #TourdeFrance and I am disgusted. If you look closely, you can see there are CARS posing as BIKES! pic.twitter.com/9TJVTPQ1WK
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) July 10, 2018
gonna start a sad girl indie pop group called the Sunday Scaries who wants to join
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) July 8, 2018
When I say “I’ll let you know”… pic.twitter.com/KLn5n0Zmg1
— 💔 (@KennSunshine) July 7, 2018
We’re in a brutal heatwave so I left water bowls all over our yard for the neighborhood kitties but they all still look at me like I slept with their boyfriends at the prom after party.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 9, 2018
good morning, boys and girls! the emotion i have chosen to feel today is numbness! can you say it with me??
— Tracy Boomeisha-Ann Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) July 9, 2018
the extent to which i have unplugged this weekend is best exemplified in my dad breaking the news to me that justin bieber and hailey baldwin got engaged and me saying “no, that’s ariana grande and pete davidson”
— Aubrey Page (@aubreypage_) July 9, 2018
Me trying to recover from 4 straight days of socializing pic.twitter.com/TJNBttBaHx
— Brit Bennett (@britrbennett) July 10, 2018
the way people behave on Venmo is the closest thing we have to 2008 Facebook…does this make sense
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) July 8, 2018
it's just the slow march to mamma mia 2 now
— broti gupta (@BrotiGupta) July 8, 2018
KE KE, ARE Y’ALL HIRING?
— Kayla Eubanks (@UziSuzy) July 8, 2018
read an entire book before learning the author is Australian omg i read the whole thing in the WRONG ACCENT!! so embarrassing
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) July 9, 2018
“So if you have 14000 followers and only ten like your tweet, does that mean 13990 people thought it was dumb?” -my mom, cutting to the core of my twitter
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) July 9, 2018
Not losing any followers in the twitter purge was an interesting way to find out all my haters are real.
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) July 12, 2018
"Can one pretend one's not home?" pic.twitter.com/8VycAkr7lW
— Ellie Hall (@ellievhall) July 13, 2018
Some dog shapes just turned me to soup, like a bulldog or a French bulldog or a pug. And other dog shapes, like a greyhound, just make me say, “Afternoon Sir.”
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) July 13, 2018