The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week, June 22 to June 29

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week, June 22 to June 29

“I’ve met a lot of people in my life and let me tell you, we’re all a bit much.”
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The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.

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Amazon but like instead of buying the stuff in your cart the money goes to pay off your credit card.

— elise valderrama roedenbeck (@elierrama) June 29, 2018

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT A COOLATTA IS, SHE SCREAMS AT THE GLASS SEPARATING HER AND THE DUNKIN' DONUTS EMPLOYEES IN HER FOURTH HOUR AT THE AIRPORT

— Scaachi (@Scaachi) June 27, 2018

invented a new perfume called Smell Of Barbecue You’re Not Invited To. Just Go Home And Microwave A Hot Dog. You Don’t Have Buns But You Could Just Do That Weird Thing Where You Try To Roll It Into A Slice Of Bread

— online printer (@hellohappy_time) June 27, 2018

When I have kids I'm going to tell them ferrets are called cat snakes and they won't learn the true name of ferrets until they are 22

— A.B. (@AlannaBennett) June 28, 2018

ME: I'm going to start really taking care of my body. Fruits, vegetables, ViTiMiNssss, I am going to FEEL good and LOOK good. No sugar. Maybe I'll go VEGAN. YES I will be a goddess I will GLOW with HEALTH

FREE OFFICE DOUGHNUTS: bitch u thought

— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 28, 2018

"how close are you to completely losing your shit"

me: pic.twitter.com/a5IWr4ffUA

— alexis nedd (@alexisthenedd) June 25, 2018

rompers: for when your life is too easy and you want a fun challenge every time you pee!

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 28, 2018

The fruits of summer are a wondrous thing. Eat an overripe nectarine over the kitchen sink while imagining it’s the heart of your worst enemy.

— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) June 27, 2018

hamilton: BDE, used irresponsibly

burr: no

lafayette: BDE

jefferson: non

hercules mulligan: BBBDE

washington: BDE

phillip: BDE before his dad got him killed

peggy: not around long enough to aquire

eliza: BDE

angelica: biggest DE of all

— Tracy Boomeisha-Ann Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) June 26, 2018

Now that Blockbuster, Toys R' Us, and GameStop are all closed I don't know where to go after school in 2005.

— Kat Buckley (@awkwardlyours) June 26, 2018

My mom asked me if I had extra plastic bags, and as I dug into my plastic bag filled with 345 more plastic bags, I knew that this was my moment to shine.

— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) June 25, 2018

Paul Rudd has been handsome for 40 years and is somehow still like 32

— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) June 27, 2018

People who knit always look like they're doing magic and really it is probably safest to obey them.

— Sandra Newman (@sannewman) June 25, 2018

Snapshot of life in 2018 pic.twitter.com/NRsRXHeMxF

— Jill Capewell (@capeybara) June 24, 2018

aries: BDE, small dick

taurus: nah

gemini: no

cancer: tender BDE

leo: hate to give them the satisfaction but yeah, BDE

virgo: weaponized BDE

libra: lowkey BDE

scorpio: tries too hard to exude BDE to have BDE

sag: BDE

cap: runs you over with BDE

aquarius: nah

pisces: dormant BDE

— anna borges (@annabroges) June 26, 2018

if you consider eating two bags of popcorn and toaster waffles for dinner at 10:30 a nutritious meal plan then i am the epitome of health

— kelly (@kelllicopter) June 28, 2018

Titty sweat degrees out here. I am dying.

— Kima Jones (@kima_jones) June 25, 2018

If I was on Queer Eye:

Bobby: have u ever hung up clothes ever

Jonathan: weekly face masks aren’t a substitute for daily skincare

Karamo: this is some record breaking low self esteem

Antoni: ur veins are filled w coffee

Tan: u can’t just wear the exact same black skirt every day

— fiona 💞 (@neonfiona) June 27, 2018

petfinder is the only good website but you should be able to search it by fluffiness level

— Alanna Okun (@alanna) June 25, 2018

I’ve met a lot of people in my life and let me tell you, we’re all a bit much.

— Jennifer McAuliffe (@JenniferJokes) June 26, 2018

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Hollis Miller

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