The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week (June 30 To July 6)

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week, June 30 to July 6

“My favorite part of BBQ is when someone tries to organize a group sport & I call on my witch ancestors to summon the rain”

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. To see this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for past roundups.

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My favorite part of BBQ is when someone tries to organize a group sport & I call on my witch ancestors to summon the rain

— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 4, 2018

The straight white men who got mad about fictional characters being rebooted as women, POC, and LGBT are really gonna hate the all women, POC, and LGBT reboot of the US government we’re planning.

— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 2, 2018

How come no ones written a rap song about Maxine Waters yet? There should be like 50 by now.

— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) July 1, 2018

when my enemy and i bond over hating the same person

— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) July 2, 2018

[abt to draw blood, v scared]

nurse: tell me the plot of your favorite film

me: so these twins get separated at birth & they reunite at camp 11 yrs later–

nurse: all done

me: don't u wanna know how the movie ends?

nurse: honey, i've seen the parent trap. the dad is *chef's kiss*

— Karen Chee (@karencheee) July 2, 2018

*clambers into fridge, right next to the bag of salad leaves* *mists self with ice water*

— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) July 4, 2018

Her: I need advice.

Me: (eating cookie dough for breakfast) You came to the right person.

— Ivsy (@Ivsy01) July 2, 2018

there is a startling trend on Instagram of people pretending to still be on vacation when I know for a fact they’ve been back home for days. as your elected official I will work to end this

— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) July 3, 2018

Twitter gets a bad rap but let me just say that 20 years ago women did not talk about the shared truth of underboob sweat, we internalized it as our own secret shame when we could have been weaponizing it against our enemies, long live Boob Sweat Twitter

— andi zeisler (@andizeisler) July 3, 2018

I think I am going down to the gym and then I am going to drink wine and talk shit here.

— roxane gay (@rgay) July 1, 2018

Me pretending that my natural deodorant is holding up in this heat as I lose all control over what's happening in my armpit area

— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) July 2, 2018

me: im so busy i have so much to do i have to cancel on everyone to get all this work done there are literally not enough hours in the day

also me: did you watch the three part shane dawson youtube docuseries on tanacon because i watched it four fucking times and i have THOUGHTS

— Scaachi (@Scaachi) July 3, 2018

Humidity is just a fancy way of saying even the air is sweating.

— Darlin’ Darla (@Darlainky) July 2, 2018

Excuse me buddy but it's ride OR die. I pick the first one. U can drive me to the mall but I'm not dying for you

— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) July 5, 2018

BARISTA: hey, your drink is on the house today

ME: oh, wow


[awkward pause]

ME: could…could you get it down?

— Rads (@FeelingEuphoric) July 2, 2018

I highly recommend the zero waste minimalism lifestyle to feel like you're camping out in your own home.

— Jenny Yang 👲🏼👲🏼👲🏼 (@jennyyangtv) July 3, 2018

Whoever first saw a coffee bean and thought to themselves “You know what? I’m gonna pulverize the f*ck outta this thing and make it drinkable” was a savage genius and I love them.

— ☕️MacgyveringMom22🍷 (@MacgyveringM22) July 2, 2018

Sorry the guy you’re sleeping with won’t call himself your boyfriend but will call himself a content creator

— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) July 2, 2018

Just got a Bored of the Rings tattoo on my lower back!

— Mitra Jouhari (@tweetrajouhari) July 4, 2018

anyway i spilled an entire cup of coffee in my lap this morning and then i wrote an email to myself, i am killing it today

— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) July 3, 2018


Hollis Miller

Social Media Editor, HuffPost
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