The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week
This week has been full of news about the intense situation at the border for immigrant families. Though there certainly isn’t much to be laughing about today, we’ve decided to publish our weekly roundup of funny tweets from women just to give you a moment of levity.
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A group of white women is called a brunch
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) June 17, 2018
The Statue of Liberty should replace her torch with a gaslight until further notice
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 20, 2018
Summer time is great for having spirits by the pool! Not drinks, I’m talking about summoning and consuming human souls!
— Angie B (@Angibangie) June 16, 2018
Me tryna fold a fitted sheet pic.twitter.com/3ujoIZYG7Z
— la'derrick (@khaleezy) June 17, 2018
As an ardent Jane Austen fan, I'm fine with strangers arguing in my mentions, but someone must be married by the end of it.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) June 20, 2018
in case you wanted to know how my mid thirties are going I just turned down an event with an open bar in favor of watching younger and practising cognitive behavioral techniques!!!!!!!!!
— Estelle Tang (@waouwwaouw) June 21, 2018
my novel is taking so long to write because i also have to write a decoy novel for my parents to read
— Anna Fitzpatrick (@bananafitz) June 17, 2018
When I wanna throw a party for my fellow youths, I make sure it’s LIT
Treats for all
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) June 19, 2018
The Sweatening™ is upon us pic.twitter.com/zWuokTtOdG
— Christy Havranek (@diopter) June 18, 2018
🎶 summertime and the living's uneasy 🎶
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) June 19, 2018
I never know if the pain in my chest is from anxiety or french fries.
— StaceyLynne (@StaceyLynne_44) June 18, 2018
Signing texts is so dumb. It’s OBVIOUS who it’s from. Old people are so lame. -Me, as I sign my emails
— Ashley Nicole Black (@ashleyn1cole) June 16, 2018
If alcohol is a depressant then why it make me shake my ass
— p. nut nut (@msnastynut) June 16, 2018
me to myself after i choose to read an actual book on a flight instead of availing myself of the free sky-wifi to endlessly scroll instagram stories pic.twitter.com/8cPFkuP0ag
— Bim Adewunmi (@bimadew) June 22, 2018
a haiku about public spaces:
i am in the same
line as you. why are you stand
ing so close to me
— 태극 전사 화이팅🇰🇷 (@ejnoodles) June 21, 2018
Him: Should we start a Google Doc for the trip?
Me: *Unveils 5,000 word itinerary I've been putting together during a 3-month-long fugue state*
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) June 21, 2018
I love when beyonce drops new music because that means I can cancel all my plans
— Ziwe (@ziwe) June 16, 2018
The fictional character I most identify with is the Honey Bunches of Oats factory worker
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) June 21, 2018
I can not believe I’m drunk on wine AGAIN
— Ashley C. Ford (@iSmashFizzle) June 21, 2018
Sports, but it’s beating your seamless order home after ordering it on the subway, but only just
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) June 15, 2018
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